


Transcendent

by suzyjuuzou



Category: Haikyuu!
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Growing Up, M/M, and first pairing fic, but I absolutely adore iwaoi, iwaoi - Freeform, super space themed, this is my first haikyuu fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:57:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4189509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzyjuuzou/pseuds/suzyjuuzou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is a bit spacey. Iwaizumi is a bit alienated. Both wish on a star for something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Elementary

**Author's Note:**

> First Haikyuu!! fic, first ship fic, and first chaptered fic on here! Wish me luck. I adore Iwaoi/Oiiwa to the moon and back and couldn't resist writing SOMETHING about them. 
> 
> Each chapter will be a different stage of their lives as well as a different stage of their relationship. It's going to skip years at a time, but bear with me because everything will still be in chronological order. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it. I'm going to work towards this being finished over the span of 2 weeks or so.

Oikawa throws on a t-shirt and grabs a flashlight. It's three in the morning. His family is asleep, but he's wide awake and crawling as quietly as possible through the small space his open window provides. Hair, wild and unbrushed, blows around his face and eyes sparkle like the stars he is admiring. Maybe they're reflecting what he sees. Maybe he himself is made of them.

He lays back on his roof and thinks. He's seven and mostly a nuisance to those around him. He's loud and obnoxious. He doesn't quite know how to speak to others or how to stay focused on anything other than what's outside his window and beyond the atmosphere. His friends call him "Space Cadet." Oikawa secretly wishes he were one. 

He starts with counting the stars. Then he moves to pointing out all the constellations he knows. Lastly, he wishes on them. Normally he wishes to become an astronaut someday. Tonight he wishes to be understood. 

Before he begins to make his way back inside, he catches the faintest glimpse of a twinkle shooting across the sky. Eyes wide, he exclaims "UFO!!" without thinking and then quickly throws his small hands over his mouth. His bedroom light turns on inside and he knows he's done for. 

☽ ☆ ☾

Hajime wakes up to a loud "OIKAWA TOORU!" and a window being slammed shut. It's not the first time he's heard this. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he shuffles to his window to see his neighbor in his room with a pout on his lips and his mom yelling. 

He looks up and notices the clear sky, instantly knowing that Tooru was out on the roof again. Sometimes Hajime catches him watching the stars and wishes he had the courage to climb out on the roof too. If his dad caught him, however, he knows he'd end up with bars and chains on his window. Hajime spends too much time looking out of it for him to risk losing it. 

Tooru is crying now, and Hajime rests his chin on the window sill and pouts for him. On the other hand, he has a strong desire to call him a baby. Tooru and Hajime aren't friends, though. Hajime isn't really friends with anyone. 

His schoolmates whisper amongst themselves that he looks mean, so no one talks to him. It's not like he's _actually_ mean, though. He's just... different. And shy. And looks angry all the time.

Hajime's mother tells him that he won't always be alienated. Someone will eventually see the amazing things inside of him and will open new doors for him, she says.

Looking out at the sky that his neighbor so adores, he sees a small light slice through the sky and gasps. Shooting stars are what you're supposed to make wishes on, right? 

He scrambles to come up with a wish, shaking little fists and stomping in a small circle to help inspire _something_ to come to him. The first thing that comes to mind is, "I wish for a friend."

Looking out across the fifteen or so feet between he and Oikawa's windows, he makes eye contact with the messy-haired boy. Tooru grins, front teeth missing and tears still in his eyes. Hajime waves slightly and tries his best to smile back. 

Maybe- just maybe- Hajime's wish will come true. 

☽ ☆ ☾

Against the pleas of the other students, Tooru approaches Hajime. They say, "You've reached a new level of stupid, Oikawa! Iwaizumi is gonna hit you!" Tooru, for what it's worth, could not care less if Hajime hits him or not. 

Hands on his hips and trying to look proud, Tooru (with a slight lisp due to his missing teeth) states, "My name is Oikawa Tooru and you will be my friend!" 

Hajime stares. 

"Wait!" Tooru exclaims. "I mean- _will you_ be my friend?" He stutters a bit and then deflates, but quickly returns to his proud stance. 

Hajime doesn't know whether or not to laugh or cry. "I'm Iwaizumi Hajime. And okay."

His first impression of Tooru actually speaking to him is that he's loud and obnoxious, but he also knows a side of Tooru that no one else does. The side that is passionate in its desire for the stars. 

Tooru flashes Hajime the same smile that he did last night and Hajime has to look away. He refuses to smile back. He can't let anyone know just how happy one person asking to be his friend makes him. That would be pathetic. 

"Come play with me after school!" Tooru insists. 

Hajime only nods and goes back to working rather diligently for a second year student.

☽ ☆ ☾

The Oikawa's house is the same size as Hajime's, but for some reason it seems a lot bigger. There's less _stuff_ in it, to the point where it doesn't even really look lived in. It's all open floor space and white furniture. Their TV is huge. It's the kind of stuff that his parents always say they wish they could afford. Hajime decides that Tooru is rich. 

"Where are your parents?" Hajime asks. 

Tooru shrugs. "Work? Maybe?" 

He's running off up the stairs, presumably to his room. 

Hajime also decides that the Oikawa family isn't close and that Tooru's parents are rather absent. He thinks he understands a bit more why Tooru loves outer space so much. 

Tooru's room is almost exactly as Hajime had imagined it to be. The outside of his door has an "I Believe" conspiracy poster with a UFO on it. Inside his room, the ceiling is covered in glow-in-the-dark stars and planets and has a large model of the solar system dangling from fishing wire. The walls are swirls of blues, both light and nearly black, and decorated in large decals of the planets. Shelves littered with astronomy books and scary alien stories line the walls too. His bedspread is covered in alien faces. 

The only thing missing is the spaceship shaped bed frame. 

"I like outer space," Tooru breathes out. 

Hajime blinks. "No kidding." 

They talk about Star Wars for a bit. Hajime learns that Tooru doesn't like it because there shouldn't be noise in space and the space battles are, in fact, very noisy. It's a very heated argument for a couple of seven-year-olds. 

One of Tooru's parents comes home at some point, but they don't check on him. Hajime feels sad for Tooru. Tooru doesn't care at all. 

When it gets dark, Tooru turns the light off and grabs Hajime's hand, yanking it so that Hajime will lay on his floor with him. 

"I arranged them so that they will be in the correct constellations. That way on nights when it's too cloudy or bright to see the real ones, I have some that are sorta close."

For some reason, this makes Hajime sad. 

"Why are you crying?" Tooru asks, very serious. 

Hajime shakes his head. "Idiot. I'm not."

But he is, and even though it's dark, the glow-in-the-dark stars reflect in his eyes and Tooru can see the tears. Tooru has real stars in his eyes, though. Something Hajime cannot understand, but can still appreciate. 

"You are," Tooru whispers and rolls over to hug him. "It's okay. I'm your friend now. You can tell me what's wrong."

Hajime doesn't know how to tell him that he feels bad for him. 

"I've never had friends before, so I'm happy," he lies instead. 

Hajime falls asleep on Tooru's floor while Tooru explains each green, glowing constellation. Their hands never separate during the night.

When Hajime wakes up, Tooru is still asleep. He notices that at some point a star fell from the ceiling and landed on his stomach, its sticky glue stuff attaching it to his shirt. Though he wishes he could put it back in its original place, Hajime has no clue where the single star belongs. 

So, he puts it in his pocket and hopes that Tooru doesn't notice its absence any time soon.


	2. Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit hard for me, so struggle through it like I did, I guess. Is that too harsh? 
> 
> Anyways, I have a set goal in mind for the ending now. Halfway there!

Tooru loses himself for a while. It's that awkward middle school phase, probably, but it irks Hajime to no end. The worst part was when he followed Tooru into his bedroom the other day. Something seemed wrong immediately, and it was the lack of the conspiracy poster outside his door. Hajime didn't ask at first, but when he went inside Tooru's room and it was completely empty except for his wooden furniture, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. 

"What the heck happened?" Hajime asked. He looked around at the walls that had been painted white and the new, plain white bedspread. "This looks like a hospital room." 

Tooru just laughed, "It's a work in progress. I wanted something different. Kept the stars, though. I'm too short to take them down." 

And he did. The green glow-in-the-dark stars remained mostly intact except for one. That one was stuck on the underside of Hajime's desk for safe-keeping. However, Hajime was a little astounded that Tooru managed to notice the star's absence. 

"It's not-" Hajime started, but didn't quite know how to finish it. "It doesn't seem like you, I guess?" 

Tooru only laughed again. 

The sound made Hajime angrier than it probably should have. 

☽ ☆ ☾

Hajime sits at his desk, thirteen years old and working hard as ever. He's ranked second in his seventh grade class, right behind (of course) Oikawa Tooru. He loves the kid to death, but he can't help but feel discouraged by the fact that he works incredibly hard to do well in school and Tooru does practically nothing but still managed to be top of their class. 

Tooru leans on a desk with four girls huddled around him. One is braiding the hair he finally started taking a brush to and the others are standing around giggling, probably waiting for their turn. 

Once middle school started, Tooru changed significantly. His parents' divorce seemed to not affect him, but Hajime stopped catching him out on the roof. All he cares about anymore is how many girls he can capture the hearts of and how many service aces he can get in one match. 

All Hajime cares about is making sure Tooru is safe and happy. He worries about his only friend. Tooru, on the other hand, doesn't seem to worry about much of anything importance. 

"Iwa-chan!" Tooru exclaims, drawing out the "chan" for an infinite amount of seconds. Hajime presses his fingers to his temples and sighs. The girls Tooru was talking to let out little shrieks of, "No, Oikawa-chan! Iwaizumi will hit you!"

(His angry-looking face has only gotten angrier-looking over the years. Because of this, no one wants to approach him still Except for Tooru who, unfortunately, doesn't stay away.)

"Please, you idiot. Don't call me that," he groans. 

Tooru brushes it off. "Oh, come on, Iwa-chan. You take things too seriously. Have a little fun every now and then."

"Where are you going with this?" Hajime's eyebrows pull together in suspicion. He knows that Tooru is going to suggest something sketchy. 

The taller boy (much to Hajime's dismay) shrugs and acts like it's nothing much. "I just thought that you could come over tonight. It's been a while since you slept over. Also, don't make that face. Forehead wrinkles don't like good on you."

It's true that Hajime has visited for an hour or two on numerous occasions, but he hasn't actually spent the night in years. Tooru's voice is sincere about the sleepover, yet the playful smirk makes Hajime feel as though he's getting dragged into something awful. He also has the strong urge to cover his forehead with his hands.

Despite this, he just shrugs, "Okay. Sure."

☽ ☆ ☾

Tooru's house is quiet. It always has been, but it's just unnaturally quiet at this point. It's probably because there's even more of an eerie feeling that no one actually lives there. Tooru's parents are more of spirits that can come and go as they please, they might temporarily take a physical form but then they're whisked away again. Or, at this point, it's just Tooru's mom. 

His father has another family to be with now.

Tooru doesn't want him around anyways. 

"What ya thinking about, Iwa-chan?" Tooru practically yells and it startles Hajime out of his daze. He had been spacing out in the doorway. "Does the _amazing_ lighting in my house allow my beauty to become apparent even to you?" 

Hajime just ignores him. He's heard similar lines more than once. "You need new jokes."

"Whatever. You're just mad because the lighting doesn't change your ugly face," Tooru scoffs, taking off up the stairs before Hajime can hit him or throw something in his general direction. 

The boys spend the rest of the evening in his room. Tooru's mom never comes home and when Hajime asks, Tooru gets unnaturally quiet for a moment but then quickly covers it up with, "She's probably just working late."

Hajime can't help but worry that she left him too. He wants to reassure Tooru that he would never leave. It doesn't feel like the time or place, though. 

The room is dark now except for the stars that Hajime seems to love more than Tooru at this point. They illuminate the new volleyball-themed decorations in his room. It's still weird to Hajime. He doesn't like it.

"Why did you change your room?" 

"I already told you," Tooru laughs. "I wanted something new. Needed to grow up or something."

Hajime scowls. "You're thirteen. You don't need to grow up."

He barely hears Tooru mumble, "That's not what my dad said before he left." The smile never leaves the younger boy's face when he says it.

He decides it's best to pretend like he didn't hear, even though it causes his heart to break a bit. 

"The sky is clear," Hajime says instead. He's hoping to inspire Tooru to go out on the roof.

"Making small talk, are we?" Tooru teases. "Beautiful day, isn't it? Can you believe all this rain we've been having?"

Hajime, without thinking, throws the first thing he picks up at him. It was an alien bobble head. 

"Hey! That's important!" Tooru exclaims, pouting face making him seem younger than he is. He's not actually upset, though. Hajime can tell.

A smirk finds itself on Hajime's lips. "I knew you liked space still." 

The pout only deepens. 

Hajime takes Tooru by the wrist and, using one hand, opens the boy's bedroom window and drags him out onto the roof behind him. Their neighborhood is nice, but adults complain a lot about how there are no street lights. Hajime could not be more grateful for this fact than he is right now. The sky is beautifully freckled with stars, and even though Tooru is still pouting, they remain reflected in his eyes after all these years.

Normally Tooru's pouts still have that little bit of laughter or happiness behind them, but he genuinely looks sad this time. Hajime, only at times like this, hates being the single person that gets to see this side of him. 

"What's wrong, Oikawa?" he asks. Tooru shakes his head, but the stars are threatening to overflow in his eyes. He might lose them. 

Tooru takes Hajime's hand like he used to back when they were in elementary school and then covers his eyes with his arms. "I don't want to look at the real ones." 

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

"But why?" Hajime chuckles a bit at the end. He thinks Tooru is being petty.

"Because I hate them!" Tooru yells. Actually, genuinely _yells_.

Never once, in all the five or so years that they have been friends, has Tooru raised his voice in anger with Hajime. Maybe it wasn't exactly anger, more like anguish or desperation, but the effect is just the same. 

Hajime shuts up real quick and looks away. He's not sure if he should apologize or not. 

Tooru does first anyways.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and it's sincere. 

There's a long silence that eats away at the two of them. 

"Why did you invite me over?" Hajime asks finally. He feels unwelcome now.

Tooru sighs, "I thought we could have a movie marathon or something. I was also going to try and convince you to join the volleyball team. You'd be good at it."

"Okay," Hajime agrees. Tooru is surprised at how easily he complies and perks up a bit. That's the only reason Hajime agreed, anyways. He knew it would make him happier. 

They're quiet again, except for Tooru's quiet humming of a song that Hajime is sure he knows but can't quite place. It's a happier quiet this time, less tense than before.

Again, Hajime is the first to break the silence. "Can you tell me about the constellations again?"

"I forgot all the stories," Tooru lies.

This time around, Hajime tells all the stories about the constellations. He continues making up the stories for made-up constellations even after he's positive that Tooru is sleeping. 

"This one," he starts, hand that's not being held by Tooru pointing at a single star. "That one is probably called 'Oikawa Tooru' and even though it's surrounded by all these other stars, it doesn't form any constellations. It chooses to be alone." 

Hajime hurts a little inside and he doesn't quite understand why, but he falls asleep in spite of the dull ache. Tooru, however, let's his sleeping act fade just enough to let the stars slip from his eyes after Hajime's final story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Feedback is appreciated, even if you're being an asshole.


	3. High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh.

Tooru exhales slowly, takes one more quick breath and then jumps. He jumps high, reaching for the stars. A calloused palm makes contact with an equally roughed up ball. It hits Hajime square in the back of the head, knocking him silly for a moment.

He pivots on his heel and looks deep into Tooru's eyes; they twinkle with mischief despite the mock guilty face he's putting up. Hajime's look like they're on fire. "I fucking hate you." 

Tooru blows a kiss at him. "No you don't, sweetheart." 

Hajime rolls up the sleeves of his team jacket and starts to slowly stomp towards his (not for long) best friend. His teammates are yelling things along the lines of, "Run, Oikawa-senpai! Iwaizumi is gonna hit you!"

Tooru does just that. He takes off across the court, keeping a good twenty feet between him and Hajime, all while the older boy is shooting daggers in his direction. They keep up the game of cat and mouse for a good fifteen minutes before Hajime calms down or gives up. More likely the latter. He's always revved up when Tooru is involved.

After Tooru learned that calling Hajime pet names got him more riled up than his usual antics, it's been his new favorite game to play. Hajime doesn't even know why it bothers him so much. There's just this little pain behind his eyes like a bright light was turned on in an otherwise dark room every time he hears the names come out of his friend's mouth. It bothers him to no end. Tooru, in general, bothers him to no end.

"Practice is over," Tooru tells him at the end of working on receives. Practice had technically been over for a while, seeing as the rest of the team had gone home, but Tooru had taken advantage of Hajime spacing out and used him to practice spikes for a bit longer. He throws in a delayed "babe" to snap Hajime out of it.

"Fuck off, Shittykawa," Hajime snaps, pushing passed Tooru to get to the locker rooms.

Tooru quickly catches up to him and, seeing as he has grown taller than the other boy in the last couple of years or so, throws an arm around Hajime's shoulders. "Invite me over," he whines.

"Tonight? Why?" 

There's the clatter of lockers and things inside of them being shuffled around.

"I don't wanna go home," Tooru answers. 

Hajime starts changing into his regular clothes. 

"So what? Get over it."

Tooru shuts his locker loudly and leans on it. Hajime is still messing around with his.

"My dad is there."

Silence.

"Okay," Hajime understands. 

☽ ☆ ☾

It's not that his house is ugly or dirty or anything, it's just that, in comparison, Hajime's house is significantly less extravagant than Tooru's. The second they walk in the door, his mom is right there, hugging both of them. "Mom," Hajime says, but it's elongated in a sort of groan. 

"Tooru! How lovely to see you," Hajime's mother greets. "It's been such a long time. I don't understand why Hajime doesn't bring you over very often." 

"Because he's a massive pain in my ass," Hajime mumbles.

His mother's smile never falters as she smacks him in the back of his head. While Hajime rubs his head with tears at the corners of his eyes, Tooru suddenly understands where Hajime's brute strength and personality comes from. 

"No worries. No worries," he laughs, waving away the previous moment. "Iwa-chan will always be Iwa-chan!" 

He's practically singing.

Hajime wishes he could punch the other. "Well, mom, we're gonna go. Upstairs. Away," he says, and yanks Tooru up the stairs by his collar.

At the very end of the hall is Hajime's room. The outside of his door has a big "X" on it made from "Caution! Do Not Enter!" tape.

"Have you changed your room at all in the last- what? Four years since I have been here?" Tooru laughs, opening the door. "Guess not."

Hajime just shrugs, "I like it how it is."

His room is very neat despite all of the trinkets he has in it. There are also a lot of trophies and medals, some from volleyball and some from academics. He also has his desk sitting with the top slightly broken. 

Tooru sets his bag on it and the top completely falls off. 

"Ah," Hajime sighs. "Yeah, that's messed up. I keep meaning to fix it. All I really have to do is put it back on and tighten the screws from underneath." 

"I can help," Tooru offers.

Hajime is almost blown away by his willingness to help another. It's a rare occurrence. "Alright," He says, and tosses Tooru a screwdriver. "Don't fuck it up."

"I won't, love." Wink. 

Hajime wishes he still had the screwdriver so that he could stab him in the throat with it. 

Tooru catches his fury and laughs as he crouches down. He lays on his back, scoots himself underneath the desk, looks up and then freezes. "Oh, hello."

On the underside of Hajime's desk is something the both of them had forgotten about. Tooru uses the screwdriver to wedge the little glow-in-the-dark star off the desk and then holds it between his index finger and thumb. 

"You had it," he laughs in an empty, hollow way. 

Hajime's filing through his backpack, probably to find his homework for the weekend. "Hm?" 

"My missing star." 

Hajime grimaces. He forgot about that. "Yeah."

"How the hell did you even get it?" Tooru chuckles, turning the little thing over in his hand and staring at it. 

Turning and leaning against the wall, Hajime shrugs a little. It's a minute  
movement that's hardly noticeable. "After I spent the night for the first time, when I woke up, it was just laying on my stomach. You were still asleep and I didn't know how to put it back, so I just kinda held on to it."

Tooru continues staring at it. He's not upset with Hajime, but there's something sad about his expression. 

He laughs in a way that's full of defeat. "I had a conniption fit about this damn star."

Hajime listens.

"I noticed it was missing right after you left that day," Tooru starts. "I stormed down the stairs and told my dad I needed to immediately go and get another pack so that I could replace that star. He told me that it wasn't that important, but it mattered so much to me. I don't even know why this one star mattered to me. It just did. I started crying and actually begged my dad to let me get some more. He just kind of pushed me away and said 'grow up, Tooru. I don't have time for your immaturity.' That fucked me up a bit. It wasn't even that mean or anything."

He stops talking and looks at the star again. Hajime doesn't know what to say. 

"I think maybe it was because it seemed like he was finally giving me a reason why my mom and him were so absent in my life. And it was my own fault," he finishes, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Hajime's blown away. Tooru's never confided in him like this. He's not sure if he should apologize or hug his friend or both, so he just stands there. 

"I'm sorry," Tooru laughs. It's horribly fake. "I didn't mean to ramble like that."

"It's okay," Hajime whispers. "I just wasn't expecting you to tell me that."

☽ ☆ ☾

They talk for hours. When they finally seem to run out of things to say, it's close to three in the morning and Hajime is half asleep.

Tooru is wide awake, though. 

"You know what I haven't done in a while?" He asks excitedly.

"Hm?" Hajime mumbles through closed lips and eyes. He's suddenly being dragged by his hand to the window and then out onto the roof. "What the fuck, Oikawa."

Tooru breathes deeply. "It feels good to be out here. Feels like home."

"Your home is literally twenty feet away." 

"That's not my home."

Hajime doesn't say anything.

Tooru lays down and then yanks Hajime's hand so that he's forced to lay down beside him.

"Aren't you too old to be holding my hand now?" 

"Never." 

They lay there on the roof with their fingers intertwined for a while. Hajime is probably asleep, but when Tooru looks, his eyes are still open and looking up. 

"See that star?" he asks and points. 

Hajime squints, "There are a lot of them, but I guess so."

"That's the star you said is me."

Hajime swallows hard and decides now is a good time to pretend to be asleep. 

"I was awake. You were right, though. And I'm sorry."

He stays quiet. 

"Dude, forreal," Tooru laughs and hits Hajime on the shoulder with his free hand. 

"Don't call me 'dude.'"

"Fine, babe."

"That's worse! Why do you keep doing that?!" Hajime says in a quiet tone of voice, but the anger still is there. 

"It bothers you." 

"So does calling me 'Iwa-chan,' but I'd much rather you call me that." 

Tooru opens his mouth to say something but then quickly closes it. Then he opens it again. 

"Good lord," Hajime breathes out. "Fucking spit out whatever you have to say."

"I was going to say something heartfelt but now I think I'll keep it to myself," Tooru pouts. 

Hajime hates his childish antics. Tooru is eighteen for Christ's sake. "Like I care," he says, turning on his side and facing the pouting boy. 

Tooru turns too, pout subsiding to soft smile. 

"You can say what you wanted to say," Hajime offers, heart warming at the sight of Tooru looking vulnerable. "I'll try not to get too irritated."

Tooru sighs, and refuses to make eye contact.

"I don't have all night, Oikawa. The sun'll be rising soon."

"I was gonna say that," Tooru starts, but doesn't know how to finish. "It's hard to put into words. Calling you names like that is fun because it irritates you, but at the same time, it's as close as I can get to really being able to call you mine."

Hajime doesn't get it. He just sorta squints. "What does that even mean?" 

"You sure are dumb for top of the class." 

"I'm not the top of the class, asshole. You are."

"Well that explains why you're so much stupider than me," Tooru laughs. He puts his free hand on Hajime's face, runs a thumb along his cheekbone, and whispers with half-closed eyes, "Idiot Iwa-chan." 

When Tooru leans in to kiss him, Hajime's first instinct is to move away; however his second instinct to kiss back wins over.

They stay like that for a while. Long enough for it to not be an accident. 

Tonight, Hajime finally has his own stars in his eyes.   
☽ ☆ ☾

When they wake up in the morning, though, Tooru pretends like nothing ever happened.

Hajime pretends like his heart hasn't just shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's breaking my boy Iwa-chan. What a jerk. I love him.
> 
> As always, leave a comment if you so desire. I always, always appreciate the feedback. 
> 
> For some reason, chaptered fics just get harder and harder for me as they go on. Hopefully this chapter was okay.


	4. University

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this is literally months late.

Hajime doesn’t go to college. He stays behind and gets a job at an office building, leaving volleyball and Oikawa Tooru in the past. He makes a decent salary and manages to afford a small, one-room apartment a few blocks from his office. The days are long and boring, but he does manage to make a few friends. It seems like angry expressions are more common and less intimidating in the workplace. He fits in.

The apartment he returns to is empty for the most part. He left most of his belongings in his old room at his parents’ house. Too much of it reminds him of high school and what life was like then. It seems foreign. It seems like it never happened. He still visits his parent’s house every now and then; mainly for holidays.

☽☆☾

Tooru goes away to school in Tokyo. He gets there and is immediately a hit on the volleyball team. His grades are flawless. Everyone thinks he’s just that: flawless.

In his senior year, though, he tears his Achilles tendon when practicing on his own. Knowing that will be the end of his season if anyone finds out, he tries to continue playing in games. The very first game he plays after that, he does a jump serve and doesn’t land the jump. Tooru doesn’t say anything as he’s pushed out of the gym in a wheelchair. His team doesn’t make it through even the prelims of the last tournament he would have been in. He misses his chance to be scouted for a national team.

Tooru decides university life isn’t for him after that and fails his very last semester of school. He returns home with bags under his eyes and a cane.

☽ ☆ ☾

Christmastime rolls around and Hajime decides that maybe he should make the twenty-five minute trip to his parents’ place for a weekend or so. He dreads it a bit, especially since he knows Tooru is there now. His mom told him that he moved back in with his own mother. The drive is short, but Hajime’s hands shake the entire time.

He thanks his lucky stars when he gets to his parents’ house and neither of the Oikawas are outside. That makes it easier for him to just go inside and forget that they’re even there. It hurts him to think about them. It hurts like hell.

“Hajime!” His mother exclaims when she opens the door. “You don’t need to knock! Come in! Come in!” Her tone is light as she practically drags him by the collar inside the house.

He takes his shoes off and sighs. It feels somewhat nice to be at his parents’ home this time. There’s an aura about the place that’s different, but familiar. He feels like he can breathe again for some reason.

“Hajime, you’ll never guess who is visiting us right now! He heard you were coming today and decided to stop by since he hasn’t seen you in a few years.”

The feeling of being able to breathe easily is ripped right from his chest along with whatever thoughts were in his mind.

“Please don’t say Oikawa, mom,” he whispers. “Please.”

She looks at him with a questioning glance, “Why would Oikawa be visiting? Your uncle is here.”

His mother laughs like it was the silliest thing in the world.

Hajime can’t seem to calm down.

☽ ☆ ☾

Tooru knows that Hajime is visiting. He saw him walk into his house from his bedroom window and felt a small ache in his chest. It was small, but it was something. Immediately after, he turned back from his window and continued hobbling around his room and pulling things from boxes. His room is slowing beginning to look how it should. Things are slowly returning to normal for him.

He can no longer look at a volleyball without anger surging through his veins, but he can look at the stars again, at least. He can think about his father and he can think about outer space. He can think about Hajime and knows that his former friend deserved better than him.

At twenty-two years old, Tooru finally grows up a bit. It just took losing everything to realize that he needed to.

☽ ☆ ☾

It’s three in the morning the day Hajime plans on leaving and he can’t sleep. He wanted to leave pretty early, but he dreads having to go back to his life at home already. Maybe he’ll fall asleep and just not wake up for a week or two. His boss will call him and fire him and then, oh no, it looks like he will have to move back in with his parents. Pity. He likes the idea.

Something inside him breaks a little bit and he sighs. Getting up, he reluctantly makes his way to the window and opens it. Hajime crawls out and lays on his roof. It’s weird to see the stars from this angle. He thinks about the last time he laid on his roof like this. The thought makes him want to immediately go back inside, but he hears the sound of a window sliding open. Then there’s the uneven thumps of someone hobbling across the roof across from him.

He knows it’s Tooru. He knows he’s about twenty feet away and he knows that he’s breathing the same air as him and he knows the feeling in his stomach can’t mean anything good, but he doesn’t move.

It’s quiet and it’s tense.

“Beautiful night, right?” Tooru says from his respective roof.

Hajime feels so angry. He feels _so fucking angry_. “You’re such an asshole,” he says, though, and his words lack every ounce of bitterness that he feels.

“I know.”

Hajime doesn’t say anything. He has nothing to say. So it’s quiet again for a while. Tooru might be asleep. Hajime might be too. Neither of them know.

It feels like forever, but Tooru does talk again. It’s just a simple “come over” but Hajime is crawling through his window and making his way over to Tooru’s house before he’s finished saying it. He puts his shoes on and walks through his front door, across the lawn of the Oikawa house, and then right through Tooru’s front door. It hardly takes him any time to go up the stairs and to get to Tooru’s room. He nearly cries when he sees that Tooru’s room is back to the gaudy alien theme from their childhood.

Hajime lays next to the other boy so close that their arms are pressed against each other.

Tooru immediately apologizes.

“I don’t want an apology, Oikawa. Or an explanation.”

“You deserve one.”

“It was four fucking years ago,” Hajime counters. “I’m happy for you that you’ve grown up or want to make amends or whatever, but it’s really not necessary. Not for me, at least. When have I ever stayed mad at you?” The chuckle he lets out is painful, both for Hajime to make and Tooru to hear.

Tooru is quiet. He hates how kind Hajime is to him beneath the tough exterior. “You were made at me for like four months after I got the highest scores on the exams in the last year of middle school.”

Hajime laughs, “Whatever. Shittykawa.”

He wants to hit Tooru a little bit, but instead he intertwines their fingers like they always used to when they laid on the roof together.

“Can you tell me about the constellations again?”

Tooru tells him about them until the sun starts to rise and the stars are no longer visible. Then they go inside and close the curtains and squeeze together on the floor and look up. It’s not the same, but it’s pretty accurate. Tooru laughs a lot. Hajime makes jokes about Tooru needing a cane that make him pout.

Four years melt away in four hours.

They fall asleep on the floor. Hajime wakes up with a stiff back and a glow in the dark star stuck to his shirt. He chuckles a bit. Waking up Tooru, he hands the sleepy boy the star and says, “I think this belongs to you.”

Tooru smiles softly and folds Hajime’s fingers back around it in his palm. “I think you should keep it this time. I have plenty.”

When Hajime looks into Tooru’s eyes and sees the way they’re twinkling again, he thinks Tooru might be right. He sticks the star back onto his shirt with a laugh and then kisses Tooru right on the mouth.

This time, though, Tooru stays right beside him afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnnnnd that's the end! I might add a epilogue chapter, but maybe not. I hope you liked it. Let me know your thoughts :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please offer feedback if you'd like. It's greatly appreciated and I take everything into account in order to further my writing and accommodate people's wishes as well. Thank you!


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